Saigon, Saigon.

Let the Vietnam adventures begin! Oh, FYI: Ho Chi Minh City and Saigon are the same place. Ignore if I bounce between the two.

Warning. This is a long post without many pictures. Read with patience and a sense of humor.

Day 1: Thursday, April 10

The infamous UST cab driver, Dennis, picked us up Thursday at 6 pm after our horribly uninteresting Women's Movement exam.

Sidenote: It was one of those tests you spend hours studying for only to realize that the professor spent a total of 10 minutes typing up 6 questions on the most horribly formatted Word document you've ever seen. If you're a visual person like me, just seeing this kind of one-sheet exam makes you cringe. There were 5 true/false questions and one vague open-ended essay (which could also be written in bullet-point form). The worst part is that for every question you get wrong, she deducts one point. In other words, if you miss one true/false question (answering four correctly), you get 3 points (+4 - 1 = 3). Stupid.

Needless to say, after the exam we were ready to leave the country. We made it to the airport in exactly 45 minutes (near record time). There was no line at the United Airlines counter and security was virtually empty. I think it was our lucky day. When we boarded the plane, we noticed that it was conveniently empty. Jen and I, therefore, got to sit window/aisle with an empty seat in between. Score! Shortly after we sat down, a middle-aged male flight attendant began talking to us. I'm sure I unconsciously made a face realizing that I was indeed on a US carrier who employs men as flight attendants. In Asia, you better be young, strikingly beautiful and have a vagina to qualify for this job. Of course, he pulled the "Are you sisters?" line. My instinctive response was, "Umm, no. She's half Chinese. I'm definitely not." We awkwardly joked back and forth. Jen offered him some almonds-- like trying to feed a hungry beggar on the street in the hopes he'll leave you alone. When he asked if we needed anything else, we said we wanted cocktails. Unfortunately, we didn't specify what kind of cocktails, because he proudly returned with his creative apple juice/ginger ale/amaretto/cognac concoction. He claimed the amaretto was inspired by Jen's almond offering. I drank it (feeling obligated), but tried not to breathe for fear of actually tasting it. Sick.

Our dinner meal was a choice of lasagna or chicken with rice. We chose lasagna because it wasn't chicken with rice. Thankfully with dinner we had two glasses of wine (in mini bottle form)-- a vast improvement over the earlier mixed drink.

After landing we got our bags and headed to the taxi line. But before that, we went through passport control and once again, I held up the line because apparently I look nothing like my passport photo. This was at least the third time I got the double-take in Asia. In an attempt to verify that it was indeed my passport, the man asked me my name. You'd think he'd ask something a little more difficult, but no. Just my name. After a minute or two and furious typing on his computer, he let me go. Oh! And when I boarded the plane in Hong Kong, the man at the gate examined my passport one final time. He hesitated-- trying to verify that the strange 16-year-old in the passport was indeed my former self. He tried to joke by saying, "Oh, very beautiful picture." I replied, "Ha! You're a good liar." In not knowing how to reply, he said, "Thank you!!" We erupted in laughter walking down the jetway.

After our search for an ATM, we waited for a cab. In Saigon we were told to only hire cabs with the phone numbers ending in 27.27.27 or 26.26.26. Even then, they tried to scam us saying it would be cheaper to travel with the meter off. Mr. Cab Driver, this isn't our first Asian rodeo.

About 90,000 Vietnam dong later, we arrived at our hotel-- which turned out to be lovely. Pleasant service, eight-story building, air conditioning, cable television and... a glassed in shower! Posh! Anyway, we slept heavily the first night but woke up the next day ready to tour.

Footnote: The current exchange rate is 16,000 Vietnam dong to 1 USD. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, dong.

Day 2: Friday, April 11

So our goal was to meet up with 7 other UST guys-- one of whom speaks Vietnamese. Score! Unfortunately our pattern of traveling with knowledgeable guides, ended in Vietnam because Kevin got tied up with job interviews over the weekend. When we called the other 6 guys, we discovered that their previous night of escapades would require more sleep to recover. Jen and I walked down the street, found a travel agency and booked two tours-- a city tour that afternoon and a Mekong River Delta tour the next day.

Before the tour we had a wonderful lunch at a place called Bunta and had our first taste of bun, or Vietnamese noodles. The city tour in itself was mediocre. Our guide was a southern Vietnam vet and very nice. He and our driver took us around to a pagoda, temple in Chinatown (which we didn't really need to see), the Reunification Palace (which was closed) and the War Remnants Museum (some of which was unnecessarily graphic). After the tour we took a nap and ended the evening at an overpriced French restaurant. Overpriced in the sense that we paid more than $10 per person.

The most important learning experience from day one was how to cross the street without getting hit by the hundreds of motorbikes. If you don't believe in a god before this experience, you do afterwards. Look below. Do you see a "good time to cross?"


Day 3: Saturday, April 12

I forgot to mention that on Friday morning, we found a great breakfast place three blocks from our hotel. Every morning we both had the American Breakfast-- two scrambled eggs with bacon, fruit, baguettes and a latte. Independent, local coffee shops are big in Saigon. Not once did we see a Starbucks, but on nearly every corner was a cafe-- many of which also offered free Wi-Fi. Starbucks, you hear that?! Anyway, all of the waiters there were young, friendly and very smiley-- to everyone, not just us. The best part was that they couldn't say 'scrambled.' It came out more like chrambo-eggs. By the third day they started saying, "Oh! We saw you yesterday! Hello!" Loved it.

So after breakfast at 7am, we left for our Mekong Delta tour at 8:00. We paid the group rate, but luckily our group was only four people-- the two of us and a mother/daughter duo from Malaysia (pronounced Malaya in Asia). The tour actually started outside Saigon in a town along the river called My Tho. The Mekong Delta was fairly interesting. We got on a boat and island hopped. The islands are named after the four important "animals" in Vietnam-- the phoenix, turtle, dragon and unicorn. Yes, unicorn. I don't know why.

Our guide insisted on trying to weird us out with local foods. I got to try honey straight from a beehive. The bees looked like they had all been sedated because none of them flew around and few were concerned that people were all up in their business. The guide took my index finger and stuck it right through the honeycomb (sorry bees) and it was delicious. Not thick and syrupy, but light and sweet. After ooohing-and-ahhhing and taking pictures with a "pet" snake, we sat down to try local dried fruits (ginger, coconut, etc). They somehow convinced Jen to try the banana wine. I don't know how they make it, but Jen's face seemed to indicate that it tasted like a mixture of dirt, garbage disposal debris and bitterly strong alcohol. Indeed, our guide said it was nearly 40% alcohol by volume. He explained that it was a popular alternative to Viagra. Sure. He went on to ask if we had eaten dog, cat ("little tigers"), snake or rat. No. No. No... and no. "All very good," he said. Interestingly, he mentioned that after the SARS outbreak, rat became increasingly popular because it was considered to be quite safe.

Just like little ducklings we followed him through a shaded village into another outdoor "cafe" to try fruit and listen to local singers. From there it was on to a coconut candy-making village, a short trip on a horse-drawn buggy and lunch at a seafood place. The Malaysian pair ordered the fried elephant ear fish served with rice paper and basil, and Jen and I ordered calamari. Sounds classy, but it wasn't. The tour advertised that lunch wasn't included, so we brought sandwiches. Oops. Instead of feeling proud that we had thought ahead, we felt like picky American eaters.

We eventually went back to the shore (from the "animal islands") and drove back to Saigon. Somehow we had enough stamina to keep going despite the fact that it was so hot. From our hotel we walked to the antique market and stopped for quick bowl of pho at Pho 2000-- where President Clinton ate during his first trip to Ho Chi Minh City. Anyway, the pho was amazing! It's just Vietnamese noodle soup with your choice of meat served with bean sprouts, basil, and onions. The restaurant was filled with huge pictures of the president eating and smiling. After all these years it's still their claim to fame.

It may not have been in the proper order, but after our snack, we got massages. Jen got a full body massage and I got an hour-long foot massage for $7.50. Enough said.

We ate a local Vietnamese restaurant published in Lonely Planet that was also amazing. Thankfully we made a reservation because it was packed. We ate... too much and attempted to walk it off on our way back to the hotel. That didn't really pan out because we stopped at a beautifully lit outdoor restaurant called the "Barbecue Garden." Silly name, but nice atmosphere. Well, it was nice atmosphere at first... until Jen saw a massive rat scamper toward our table. Keep in mind, I like most animals. I'm no Jennifer Johnson, but I do OK. But. I. Shrieked! Thankfully doing so scared the armadillo-sized rodent away, but he wasn't gone for long. We quickly paid for our glasses of wine and left, but not before the rat returned and scared another table. I think he was just playing a little game. A really gross little game.

Day 4: Sunday, April 13

Our last day and last tour (thank God) was spent at the Cu Chi tunnels. Somehow Jen and I picked the worst possible day to go on this tour. It was hotter than any previous day and we arrived alongside at least 15 other tour groups of all ages and sizes. Sizes referring to the number of people-- not actual weight, as most were Western and therefore large. Before you see the tunnels, they put you in an oven (aka room without circulation) to watch a video about the "Anti-American War" and heroic Vietcong fighters (referred to as "Honored American Killers"). Not that I'm not saying that we didn't kill the Cu Chi people, but they weren't the most friendly fighters either.

The tunnels were quite impressive. The Cu Chi people creatively conceiled entrances, created false tunnels to trick Americans and diverted smoke (from their underground kitchens) to keep their tunnel system hidden. Keep in mind these tunnels stretched 250 kilometers, or about 155 miles from Cambodia to the Saigon River. Really amazing. Our time there would have been significantly better if there hadn't had been so many freakin' people. By the time we got to go down into the tunnels (an area widened for tourists), we were both pretty excited.


At the entrance, you walk down a steep set of dirt steps to a smaller landing. From there, it's a few more steps before the tunnel actually begins. At the beginning the tunnel is big enough to walk in a semi-bent-over position. But then it gets interesting. You go from bent over to crouching to squatting to your knees through a dirt tunnel that's only lit every 15 feet or so. Keep in mind I'm only 5'4" and I felt huge down there. The unfortunate part is that since there were so many people it was difficult to keep a steady moving pace. Add that to the fact that the man behind me (at least 6'1") was beginning to panic. He couldn't move forward or backward and neither could I. I went from being calm and patient to worried and claustrophobic in about 3 minutes. Needless to say, I took the first exit despite the fact that the tunnels continued. It was a crazy experience, but definitely made me feel like I had accomplished something on the tour.

The last leg of the tunnel tour (or maybe it was before that) was a gun range. You could pay about $1.25 per bullet to shoot anything from an M-16 to an AK47. Maybe if I hadn't have been so irritated, I would have shot one. The worst part was that right next to the gun range was the rest stop/cafe. In attempting to enjoy my thirst-quenching bottled water, my eyes blinked everytime a shot was fired. The only ear protection was walking away from the cafe. Not the most relaxing atmosphere and officially the WORST location for any rest stop.

Sadly we had to get back on the hot, uncomfortable bus for about 2 hours back into the city. We needed a break from tours and crowds, so we decided to head to the Caravelle Hotel pool (as recommended by Lonely Planet). We paid the expensive $23 entry fee, but found out that the rate also paid for access to the spa facilities. Mmmm.

Oh! I found a picture of the pool online! Too bad ours didn't come with the man in the Speedo.

After lounging for a few hours (pretending to blend in with the other high-class people), we went to the spa to make use of every amenity possible-- the jacuzzi, sauna, steam room, showers, shower products, hairdryer, bath robes, endless towels, etc. We got cleaned up and went to dinner in the backpackers area (back to our side of town) at an Italian restaurant. It was the perfect way to end the weekend. Very civilized.

Day 5: Monday, April 14

On Monday Jen and I woke up at 3:45 to be downstairs by 4:15. We met the guys and caught a taxi to the airport in plenty of time for our 7:00 flight.

Overall we had a good time. It was the first time Jen and I were in total control of our vacation-- no guys, no native-speaker, just us... and we did well. I'm not sure Vietnam could ever top Thailand or China as a tourist destination. Maybe someday.